{"id":24229,"date":"2019-10-17T00:02:01","date_gmt":"2019-10-17T05:02:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/?p=24229"},"modified":"2019-10-16T22:21:28","modified_gmt":"2019-10-17T03:21:28","slug":"please-dont-touch-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/?p=24229","title":{"rendered":"Please Don&#8217;t Touch Me"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Jim Gaffigan with a piece about being rubbed the wrong way.<br>Kinda.<br>He doesn&#8217;t seem to care much for massages.<br>I understand his point of view here, it&#8217;s a personal issue of <br>sorts, such intimacy with a stranger takes a bit to get used to.<br>Personally I love being pawed like a salmon on Take a <br>Grizzly to Lunch Day, I find it quite invigorating.<br>I look forward to my monthly massage therapy so much that I<br>show up at the session already oiled up, wearing nothing but <br>a towel and a smile.<br>Gotta go easy on the lube though, first time I went too heavy,<br>slid into the drivers side and flew right out the passenger window.<br>Wouldn&#8217;t have been too bad had my towel not stayed in the car.<br>After a brief explanation the charges were dropped&#8230;  <br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed-youtube wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\nhttps:\/\/youtu.be\/-zVzTvez-a4\n<\/div><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jim Gaffigan with a piece about being rubbed the wrong way.Kinda.He doesn&#8217;t seem to care much for massages.I understand his point of view here, it&#8217;s a personal issue of sorts, such intimacy with a stranger takes a bit to get used to.Personally I love being pawed like a salmon on Take a Grizzly to Lunch [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24229"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24230,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24229\/revisions\/24230"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/comedy101radio.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}