This is a pretty funny piece by Michael Somerville.
His girlfriend was a bit clingy, one might say plastic
wrap clingy with a dash of wet shower curtain
clingy on the side.
I make no such judgements.
But if I were to it would be more along the lines of
Gorilla Glue coated tarpaulin clingy.
The famous adhesive, not the infamous cannabis strain.
That would be silly, interesting but silly.
Some great lines here…